Into The Becoming

On Friday, I did something I thought I’d never do – or be capable of doing, to be more specific. 

Well, two things, actually.

The first was doing 50 minutes on the treadmill.  I was walking for most of it, but I did do four 3-minute sprints.  It felt so awesome – I can’t even describe the feeling.  It felt exhilerating to be actually USING my body – instead of just letting it rot.  It was freedom and joy and pride all rolled into one huge sweaty ball.

The second was meeting with someone I didn’t even know and help them with food choices.  I didn’t do it alone – Sparklebutt was there, too – and I definitely have things to learn about how to not show my reactions when people talk about significant others being unsupportive, but Sparklebutt seems to think that I know my stuff when it comes to eating clean.  She’s going to send me another person who wants to learn more, too.

I talked to her a little bit about…my role.  I really want to help her…in fact, I’ve had daydreams about being some sort of partner/co-worker/underling in her training business.  But even though I am doing things now, I feel weird about being so involved when I look the way I do.  Granted – I moving in a better direction and I definitely think I look way better than I did…but I still feel weird being in a position of giving advice to people while I’m still overweight. 

It’s strange…I never thought that there would come a day when I would not see my future involving being fat.  When I look ahead now, all I see is success.  I have to work hard now in order to get that success, but it will be worth it when I get there.  And even if I don’t get to competition level, I know that I’ll be healthy and looking better than I ever have. 

Saturday, Darrin and I had the pleasure of meeting up with kaya and …ack, I dunno what to call him.  I’ll call him Redheaded Hottie. 

They were in town, and so we all met up for breakfast at a little (literal) hole-in-the-wall that we like to go to.  It was so great to see them again, and we had a great time talking about past and future events and just being with like-minded people.  =)  Kaya looked fantastic and Darrin loves being around people as pervy as him.  Plus, I got to feast my eyes on a hot couple.  nomnomnom 

Tomorrow I’m starting up a new regime.  I’ll be doing 30 minutes of cardio and then 20-30 minutes of strength training each day.  I need to step up my workouts to get past this speedbump I’m currently floundering over (I’m not unhappy, though – I’d rather be floundering at this weight than what I was floundering at before!) and also step up my food intake.  I do well during the week because I heart my cooler, but the weekends can be a little…erm…challenging.  Though I didn’t do too bad this weekend – definitely not as bad as a few I’ve had.  Just need to focus a little harder. 

And I’m actually considering becoming a certified personal trainer – mostly because the certificates I’m truly interested in need the CPT as a pre-requisite, and also because I’d like to help out Sparklebutt. 

Seriously…a personal trainer.  I still can’t believe it, even when I write it down like this.  It’s like….I don’t even know what it’s like.  It’s like something bizarre and weird and yet makes so much sense.

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