Archive for July, 2010
Today, I found a clean alfredo recipe in the new Clean Eating magazine and gave it a whirl. It called for yogurt, so I was a little skeptical…but it turned out pretty good. I was so proud of myself, because my dinner could have been straight out of the magazine.
That would be a grilled eye of round steak and whole-wheat pasta made with milled flax seeds and the clean alfredo sauce. I haz a happy tummy.
I also went to the doctor today, to do a check up on the copper issue. So far, my reactions have been pretty much as expected – I’ve had three periods without birth control. The first one I had NO pms stuff at ALL, the second I had a few, and the last one I had a few more. He expected this, because the first month I still had all the hormones from the birth control pills in my system, PLUS the zinc to help out – but as the hormones have leveled out, now the messed up chemistry is coming into play. I have to go get my levels checked again – it will be interesting to see what they are after three months.
And apparently, not taking the molybdenum makes me a raging emo bitch. Yay!
I also talked with the doctor about the clean eating – he was very impressed. We talked about how food can impact brain functions – cognition, memory, etc. He said that there are studies that say that patients with Alzheimers who are taking nutritional supplements have reported a decrease in their symptoms.
Lately, I have been noticing more and more how food affects me. Not only physically (cause that’s kind of obvious), but also mentally. I have a desire to eat better, instead of waiting for the next cheat.
The doctor said something that really struck me, too. He said that I was cleaning out my body of toxins, and that once you do that, you become more sensitive to the toxins. It’s completely true, too. Once I started eating clean, “regular” food started to really affect me in a negative way. Hell, the first Blizzard I splurged on sent me into a 12 hour coma. I need to keep up that sensitivity, because that is the barometer of how healthy the things are that I am putting into my body. I can’t spend the weekends as a giant cheat, because that’s why I’ve plateaued.
Gotta bust through it.
Ever since I started concentrating on my health, I’ve had a strange, upsetting reaction. Whenever I would see someone overweight (usually bigger than myself), I would panic. Especially in restaurants. It was upsetting because it made me feel awful – I AM overweight, and I’m reacting like this?
Today I went to the Y to do my workout. There was a woman there who was very overweight, and she was sitting on one of the recumbent bikes, looking at a magazine. She was barely moving her legs, barely moving at all. And I got mad. Not mad at her specifically, but at myself….the old me.
It made me realize that when I would panic upon seeing these people, it was because they reminded me of me – who I was, who I could be. And it would make me angry to see what I was doing to myself. How horribly I was treating myself. How lazy, indulgent, and hypocritical I was to myself.
On Friday, I did something I thought I’d never do – or be capable of doing, to be more specific.
Well, two things, actually.
The first was doing 50 minutes on the treadmill. I was walking for most of it, but I did do four 3-minute sprints. It felt so awesome – I can’t even describe the feeling. It felt exhilerating to be actually USING my body – instead of just letting it rot. It was freedom and joy and pride all rolled into one huge sweaty ball.
The second was meeting with someone I didn’t even know and help them with food choices. I didn’t do it alone – Sparklebutt was there, too – and I definitely have things to learn about how to not show my reactions when people talk about significant others being unsupportive, but Sparklebutt seems to think that I know my stuff when it comes to eating clean. She’s going to send me another person who wants to learn more, too.
I talked to her a little bit about…my role. I really want to help her…in fact, I’ve had daydreams about being some sort of partner/co-worker/underling in her training business. But even though I am doing things now, I feel weird about being so involved when I look the way I do. Granted – I moving in a better direction and I definitely think I look way better than I did…but I still feel weird being in a position of giving advice to people while I’m still overweight.
It’s strange…I never thought that there would come a day when I would not see my future involving being fat. When I look ahead now, all I see is success. I have to work hard now in order to get that success, but it will be worth it when I get there. And even if I don’t get to competition level, I know that I’ll be healthy and looking better than I ever have.
Saturday, Darrin and I had the pleasure of meeting up with kaya and …ack, I dunno what to call him. I’ll call him Redheaded Hottie.
They were in town, and so we all met up for breakfast at a little (literal) hole-in-the-wall that we like to go to. It was so great to see them again, and we had a great time talking about past and future events and just being with like-minded people. =) Kaya looked fantastic and Darrin loves being around people as pervy as him. Plus, I got to feast my eyes on a hot couple. nomnomnom
Tomorrow I’m starting up a new regime. I’ll be doing 30 minutes of cardio and then 20-30 minutes of strength training each day. I need to step up my workouts to get past this speedbump I’m currently floundering over (I’m not unhappy, though – I’d rather be floundering at this weight than what I was floundering at before!) and also step up my food intake. I do well during the week because I heart my cooler, but the weekends can be a little…erm…challenging. Though I didn’t do too bad this weekend – definitely not as bad as a few I’ve had. Just need to focus a little harder.
And I’m actually considering becoming a certified personal trainer – mostly because the certificates I’m truly interested in need the CPT as a pre-requisite, and also because I’d like to help out Sparklebutt.
Seriously…a personal trainer. I still can’t believe it, even when I write it down like this. It’s like….I don’t even know what it’s like. It’s like something bizarre and weird and yet makes so much sense.
So what if you don’t have it yet, Jennifer?
It’s coming. You’re gonna get it. You’re gonna love it. And then you’re gonna forget there was ever a time when you didn’t have it.
Like clockwork.
I know,
The Universe
Oh, the Places You’ll Go! – Dr. Suess
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good-street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who’ll soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right . . .
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place.
. . . for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
FAME! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they wont.
I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games, too.
Games you can’t win
‘cause you’ll play against you.
All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
thought your enemies prowl.
On you will go
through the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far,
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step,
step with care and great tact.
And remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
YES! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So . . .
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So . . . get on your way!
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
This week, my sister and I endured the most awesome of all geeky gifts – all two and a half hours of “Star Wars: In Concert.” Since both her boyfriend and Darrin are both huge nerds fans, I got them tickets for their birthdays, and got a ticket for my sister so that I wouldn’t have to go alone.
I have to say that I enjoyed the movies, as a whole. Do I get into the whole fangirl stuff? No. But I do admire the fact that someone thought of this whole entire WORLD all by themselves. So, needless to say, I think everyone enjoyed the concert.
It did make me miss playing music, though. There’s a lot of horn in John Williams’ scores, and I got nostalgic for my days in orchestras.
One section of the concert was devoted to Yoda, of course. And while we were driving home from the concert, one quote was sticking in my head.
“Do, or do not. There is no try.”
Being that I’m particularly centered around my health right now, I related that quote to my current and past state. It seems a little extremist, but I like the pure logic behind the words. There’s no grey area here – there’s no excuses, no explanations. Just actions. Responsibility. That appeals to me.
I haven’t been eating the best lately. Not terrible, and I’m definitely not beating myself up about it, but not the best either. I’ve missed a couple of workouts, again not beating myself up about that either. But I do know where this path heads – and I don’t think that my good habits are sufficiently formed to rely entirely upon them to avoid this path.
I’m making new goals for myself, because I don’t want to “try” at being successful. I’m GOING to be.
- I will continue eating clean, with one treat meal a week.
- I will exercise 5 days a week.
- I will go down one full size by November.
I know that these have been said before, but repeating them is worth it. I know I’ve fallen off (or, at the least am tottering a little), and I need to focus in order to acheive the goals I want. I refuse to set myself up for failure.