Archive for January, 2010
It’s been a tough couple of weeks. Work stress has been weighing me (har har) down, and last week I didn’t loose anything because it was the week before my period. At least, I hope that was the reason.
Today was particularly hard…I came home early, hoping to just rest and get the recharge that I wasn’t able to this weekend. I rested, alright…but the urge to eat was nearly overwhelming. I’m pretty sure that this is the first time since I started working with Jen that stress has really gotten the best of me, and it was a test. I think I passed…but the urge to cry is right there.
When I came home, I wanted everything from a DQ blizzard to mashed potatoes to macaroni and cheese – and from what I’m learning, all of that stuff is feeding what seems to be an addiction to sugar. Maybe this mood, and my seeming inability to deal with stress is from coming off this addiction, since I have been keeping my sugar count so low…I don’t know.
I know I won…and I just put the final entries into my log for the day, so I know I kept my count down…but I want to break down and sob, because today is just one more reminder that I let myself get this way. It’s a bittersweet victory to me…but I have to remember that it’s still a victory.
As of today (though my “official-official” measuring is Friday), I am at 270.8 – which means I have finally lost my first ten pounds. Eleven, actually.
I am full of glee. =)
Completely and unabashedly ganked from kaya
1. Your role?
The graceful, all-knowing underling. In my dreams. Most of the time, I’m just the underling. But he seems o-tay with it.
2. Current relationship?
Living with a Moose and exploring a Fish.
3. Your favourite type of play?
To be done on me, anything that involves thick, heavy metal.
4. Your most hated type of play?
Waxing. WTF? It’s useful for pulling out random stray hairs, but otherwise I just get annoyed.
5. The most annoying habit of your owner/slave/whatever you call your SO?
He doesn’t believe in himself.
6. Your deepest fear?
I’m not really sure that I have one in regards to BDSM.
7. Your most memorable public experience (or what you would like to do in public)?
Hrm. A spanking/caging that happened years ago…me bound to a St. Andrew’s cross with yellow caution tape…being caged at Spankfest with my Hello Kitty coloring books.
8. What gets you in the mood?
Him.
9. Favourite method of masturbation?
A dark room, my pocket rocket, and my imagination. – QFT by kaya
10. Scariest thing you’ve seen or heard of in BDSM land?
Scat. WhattheeverlovinFUCK.
11. Number of hours you spend on iFet when you should be doing other things?
Gladly, I don’t spend inordinate hours of my time on the computer anymore. Yay me!
12.Thing that was hotter in fantasy than it was in reality?
I haven’t really had an experience like that yet, but I have a feeling that my whole bukkake-fantasy might get a little sticky.
13. Most longed-for experience?
It might sound cliche and sappy, but….I just want to do whatever makes him happy.
14. Ouchiest toy?
Anything involving my nipples. I can work with pain from anywhere else, but nipple-pain seems to just…be painful.
15.Book or movie that every newbie has to read/see?
Moo. Research is good and all…but really, experience is best.
16. Thing you’d like to change about yourself?
BDSM-wise? I wish that I could read his mind and get all hot when he wants me to be hot.
17.Thing you’re most proud of?
BDSM-wise, the thing I’m most proud of is how I’ve overcome the “I-should’s”. For a long time, I would project what I thought should be happening onto him, and it just wasn’t fair and not what I really wanted anyway. Now? We just do what we do, and we likey.
18.Funniest dom name you’ve ever heard?
MasterT. Insert your own Mr. T memory here.
19. Do your family and friends know?
A few friends do. My sister does. My parents? Some things are just better left unsaid. =)
20. Is twenty questions too many?
Nah, we’re good. =)